YOU and The Cool

   Well... where should I begin? Okay... RELATIONSHIPS!I'm not against them,but ask yourself this. Why does everyone feel as if they should be in one? Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly.

    1) Have you seen or been in enough successful relationships to make you feel as if a new one would last?

    2) Do you realize that simply being attracted to someone does not mean you should date them? But I guess it couldn't hurt, right?

    3)  Do you have some underlying fear of being alone someday or today rather?

  Were those too pessimistic (<

   These days, and maybe its just me, it seems hard to really get to know someone. People seem somewhat "ingenuine". Whatever happened to utilizing your adaptive unconscious mind? Hell... it's like a 24/7 mental valet, giving you the ability to sense danger, or in this case, read a stranger, or simply reacting to new ideas. I know what happened! Other than one's ego getting in the way of humbling one's self and letting someone in (Not physically! Focus!!), peoples inability to take off their "COOL"!

   That's right! Their COOL aka "The Initial Front"!  Ya know... all of those things you pride yourself on, that you boast from time to time, and all those things that people wanna hear. Never underestimate the power of the oh so manipulate first impression. You know what I'm talking about! You hear what the person is saying and you feed into it. Not realizing at moments of arousal we become mentally blinded and respond to the wrong cues, leaving us vulnerable to make the wrong decissions, i.e. a relationship or simply... regrettable "relations". Hey... It happens.

    Women constantly fall victim to "The Cool", mostly in a night club setting. Come on! How can a woman resist a man that smells like weed,wearing sunglasses at night, tilting his head at a 45 degree angle, grabbing your elbow, then punching his fist into his opposite-empty palm as he repeats "ya heard me, ya know what Im sayin', what's hadnin(sometimes alternating)". All while making promises to you like some sleezy politician. On the other hand,ladies, you may meet a guy that thinks he's prettier than you are,whose lips are glossier than yours, rockin' a throwback "S" curl, dressed like either your favorite rapper or a mannequin at Express (highly suspect), but irresitible, boyfriend material, right? 

    Generally in a professional setting or scholastic atmosphere the scenario varies of course.

    Fellas! I havent forgotten aboutcha! Picture this. Her friends are busted, low grade, not easy on the eyes, not much to look at, so she's looking extra "fly". She's wearing high heels and they're making her "back court" look lovely (sometimes only in the heels! Yep, we know!!),or she's not cute,but for the "COLOR STRUCK" brothas,she's a "red-bone"(a sista with a light complexion), so she gets a waiver(tragedy).  And wait! She's saying that she doesn't have a man! Great!!! So, you exchange numbers and have a few conversations,but within these convo's you realize that none of the above matters at all. That many guys before you have tainted her beyond all belief. Tragic... I know. Sorry fellas, scenarios don't usually vary for us, because it is my belief that a smart man would never truly pursue a woman at the workplace. There is a saying that goes,"Never piss where you lay!". If you don't get it, then...

    I'm aware that there are more meeting places than at a club. The above mentioned were merely examples. So, back to "The Cool". If you leave it on too long and someone thinks that is who you are and what you're about,and all of a sudden it "comes off". There is a problem. Deceit! I think that once we learn to take off our cool and just stop trying so damn hard, maybe it'll all get easier. And maybe relationships will occur naturally and won't seem like such hard work. Then again, I guess its hard to be yourself , when you don't know who you are in the first place.

-Gone