Girlfriend Requirements

All that i require of you: 

*the following list is compiled of things that I would ask of you, should you choose to go above and beyond and do extra things outside of this list, it will be welcomed with open arms and reciprocated accordingly*

1)emotionally supportive- nothing too excessive! A rub on the back,neck, or love below! Take my mind away from the pains of the world!

2)First Aid- If I'm injured or not feeling well, bring a brotha some Mountain Blast Powerade and some Motrin!

3)Sex where YOU,my female friend,  are the Aggressor- If you're bored with the movie, just reach over and grab the "joystick" I assure you the game will begin as soon as you reach for it!

4) Keep yourself up- I ain't saying you need to go and get a six pack on me or look like Mr.Universe wearing a wig, just maintain the woman that I fell for. You cant do anything about aging but if you drop a kid, we'll buy a stroller, add some weight to it and you can power walk off the last 10 months or so, of your life away!

5)Head- ! If you're not good at it, treat it like a tootsie roll pop! Just dont use ya teeth to get to what's inside! Your efforts will go unappreciated if this occurs.Think about a Hostess pastry :-) "Thaaaaat's the stuff!"

6)Groceries- Pick em up and I'll cook them shits! Ill even do the dishes if you tell me we are definitely gonna have desert! ;-)

7)Sex-If he stands...put em down!

8)Allow Me to be Who I am- Nothing stays the same! Interacting with someone on a daily allows for natural, more gradual change. Change is inevitable, but to what degree? hmmmm?

9)Understanding- If you have something that you want me to be into thats a bit too girlie, I cant get jiggy wit dat ish! F word them Real Housewives and the Kardashians and their problems!

10)Head- ! Open ya mind...and ya mouth :-D!

I know you are thinking,"...and what are you gonna do?!" The answer you seek is right before you. "Do unto others...", right?! A common respect, promise of good behavior or act right , secure companionship, indulgance in chick flicks and shopping malls, all await you upon the application of the fore mentioned requests. Please note that the following requirements will be somewhat altered in about 15 years or so :-).

"Gone girl...put in work!"