Your GirlFriend Might be Crazy If...
Greetings my fellow brothas in arms in this war called LOVE! I come here today with warning signs to protect you in your journey to happiness and to ensure things go smoothly with your S.O.(significant other; I learned that abbreviation from my boi, Kyle Lindow aka Dr.Feets). I'll keep it brief cause I don't want her crazy ass looking over ya shoulders wondering what it is you're reading, aiight!
Your girlfriend might be crazy if…
- When she brushes her teeth, she moves her head instead of her hand! *Poor thing is in ya bathroom looking like Beetlejuice or that girl from the exorcist.*
- She initiates sex by placing your hands around her neck. *I'd like to have a moment of silence after that one,smh!*
- You catch her staring in the mirror for several minutes at a time completely frozen with no expression. *If you have to piss fellas, I would suggest that you either hold it or water the bushes outside. Do not, I repeat, do not disturb her! It could be bad!!!
- After you met her parents, her mom always says things to you like,"God Bless you child, go with God, be strong, or there's nowhere to go but up, sugah!".
- She still sucks her thumb.
- Her father is a little too accommodating! He's always asking if you need something and is always asking if you need or want any cash. Oh, and he calls you son with a semi-wishful expression.
- She giggles for no reason at all at random times throughout the day.
- Your dog or cat leaves whatever room she's in. *Animals know!
- Whenever you get out of the shower, she's sitting on the sink staring at you with a grin like Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight.
- Babies cry at the sound of her voice. *Even an unstable creature like a baby knows when something more unstable is lurking!
All I can say is,"Stay Frosty and pay attention to the signs, homies!' It's a crazy world, but that braud you're holdin' onto might be crazier! Knowledge dropped, deuces lifted!
-And I'm out
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